We have seen the embarrassing things people can do when severely inebriated and God knows there are enough Youtube videos to prove it. Go on, try typing “drunk” in the search box and see how many videos pop out. Yep, more than you’ll ever see on America’s Funniest Home Videos. On the other hand, we have also seen what embarrassing things people can do when posting on social media networks. Well, you can imagine (or you’ve probably seen) what embarrassing things people can do when drunk AND posting on Facebook or Twitter.
How do you prevent yourself from posting when drunk, though? Do you elect a trusted (and sober) friend to be your designated social networks posting police? Or do you hide your computer’s power cable before you go out drinking? Well, thanks to modern technology (read: Firefox extensions), you don’t have to worry about posting embarrassing status updates while smashed drunk.
It’s simple really. If you know you can’t trust yourself to post after 1am, you can set the Social Network Sobriety Test at that time. If you try to log on to your Facebook, Twitter, or Youtube account, you must pass the sobriety tests to be able to post anything. So instead of you embarrassing yourself, you leave the software to do it for you. The Social Media Sobriety Test shall inform your friends, family, co-workers, boss, and everybody else that you are too intoxicated to post. Beats having to do damage control in the morning after you posted embarrassing comments on your friends’ pictures, right?
Lately, there have been a lot of issues regarding Facebook’s less than exemplary regard for their users’ privacies. Just when you thought your Facebook account is airtight, you find out that your friends can accidentally share your information or that other non-Facebook websites can access your profile. Well, those who would still like to enjoy the social website without fear that axe-murderers and lunatic stalkers have access to their mobile phone number, instant messenger ID, email address, and street address can rest easy with these two easy tools: SaveFace and ReclaimPrivacy.
SaveFace basically shuts down all of your settings to “Friends Only” while ReclaimPrivacy scans a Facebook page and alerts users about any security holes in their settings.
You can also check out a tool called Openbook that can make you a little more careful about the status updates you make. You can search for stuff other people said that contains your (highly embarrassing) keywords.
The Planet of the Apes saga tells us exactly what would happen if humankind doesn’t get over its self-destructive streak. Great apes will take over the planet. Homo sapiens will live in jungles where they are trapped, captured and sold as slaves. In a prequel, Caesar is a young chimpanzee who rode horses in a circus. He is actually the son of Cornelius and Zira, two civilized apes from the future, and founder of the the ape civilization.
Guess what? The real life Caesar is among us! The rhesus macaque (technically a monkey and not an ape, but why let logic ruin a good post) has been running free around Tampa Bay and surrounding counties, evading professional animal trapper, Vernon Yates. Yates has been trying to capture the monkey for over a year now. This alone puts him on a higher evolutionary plane than the losers on “The World’s Most Stupid Criminals.”
There is another sign that he could be Caesar in the sacred ape scroll. He has his own Facebook account, Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay. Kim Jong Il doesn’t even have one. He didn’t actually logged on, signed up and uploaded his photo but he already has 59,885 fans.
Yes, almost 60,000 human traitors and we have pledged our allegiance to the Great Monkey King.
